The Daily Demarche
Friday, November 04, 2005
Oh, to be a fly on the wall.
This might be wrong, but man can I just hear this in my head:

Ring, ring, ring.

Good evening, White House switch board.

(insert French accent) 'ello? Kin I spek wit Jeorge?

I am sorry sir, who are you trying to reach?

Jeorge, Jeorge Bush! The President.

I am sorry sir, he is not available, would like you like to leave a message?

This is Jacques Chirac, I am the President of la Republique Francaise, and I demand to spek to the President!

Um, sir, he really is not available- he is in Argentina.

Sacre bleu! Hokay, I will spek wit Sheney.

Please hold, sir.

(pleasant music)

Um, sir, he said he has nothing to say to you.

But, but, ee must spek wit me! I want eem to send the soldjers, again. Paree, she is burning.

Please hold, sir.

(pleasant music)

Sir, he told me to tell you that you will have to get the UN's permission to send troops in, and that you are exaggerating- Paris is not burning, the suburbs of Paris are burning, and the United States will not commit troops based on your faulty information.

But, but, ...

Thank you for calling the White House, sir. Good Night.


(end of my Ally McBeal moment)

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dé·marche 1) A course of action; a maneuver. 2) A diplomatic representation or protest 3) A statement or protest addressed by citizens to public authorities.


Proud to be counted among the members of the State Department Republican Underground, we are Foreign Service Officers and Specialists (and a few expats) who tend to be conservative. We believe that America is being misrepresented abroad by our mass media, and that the same mass media is in turn failing to report what the world thinks about us, and why. This site is dedicated to combing the news around the world, providing the stories and giving our interpretation, or "spin" if you prefer. Send me a good news story: dr.demarche AT

A blog by members of the State Department Republican Underground- conservative Foreign Service Officers serving overseas commenting on foreign policy and global reactions to America.
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