The Daily Demarche
Friday, November 04, 2005
Oh, to be a fly on the wall.
This might be wrong, but man can I just hear this in my head:

Ring, ring, ring.

Good evening, White House switch board.

(insert French accent) 'ello? Kin I spek wit Jeorge?

I am sorry sir, who are you trying to reach?

Jeorge, Jeorge Bush! The President.

I am sorry sir, he is not available, would like you like to leave a message?

This is Jacques Chirac, I am the President of la Republique Francaise, and I demand to spek to the President!

Um, sir, he really is not available- he is in Argentina.

Sacre bleu! Hokay, I will spek wit Sheney.

Please hold, sir.

(pleasant music)

Um, sir, he said he has nothing to say to you.

But, but, ee must spek wit me! I want eem to send the soldjers, again. Paree, she is burning.

Please hold, sir.

(pleasant music)

Sir, he told me to tell you that you will have to get the UN's permission to send troops in, and that you are exaggerating- Paris is not burning, the suburbs of Paris are burning, and the United States will not commit troops based on your faulty information.

But, but, ...

Thank you for calling the White House, sir. Good Night.

Click.

(end of my Ally McBeal moment)
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dé·marche 1) A course of action; a maneuver. 2) A diplomatic representation or protest 3) A statement or protest addressed by citizens to public authorities.

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